1. 2
    Mar

    Well That Sucked

     Today was one of the worst days of my entire life!  Musical is terrible we suck and we have a show tomorrow and its pretty much an epic fail! plus we got out of rehersal at 1030 so yay!! NOT!  the best part of my day was the two second dinner break that led me to Dunkins with he funniest people i know.  I was laughing so had i was crying, which was a good change from the feelings of the rest of the day.  My heart slightly shattered into a million pieces today.  Even though i knew there was no chance, when the reality is staring you right in the face it really sucks.  It doesnt matter how much i try and tell myself this time will be different because it will never be different.  I think this is exactly what i needed, something to sort of punch me in the face and say stop wasting all of your time and energy.  Unfortunately it doesnt really matter because it will take more then me getting punched to stop feeling this way.  Hopefully im just not giving myself enough credit, i think i can move on but everytime i try it fails almost as much as Fiddler on the Roof is currently failing.  I keep trying to find all the happiness in life and it is working so far, but how far can i really push myself until i break the hard exterior on the outside and find myself being more vulnerable then i ever have before in my life.  Even though this means nothing to anyone but myself, i think actually seeing this in writing makes me realize i cant keep pretending like there is nothing wrong.  Thankfully i have amazing friends that help me forget the bad things and focus on the good ones!

    Live Laugh Love

    MC

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